i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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