i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
