do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
