yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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