You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
