i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
