i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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