Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
