bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
