the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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