my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
