she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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