We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
