What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
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So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
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Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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