Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
