I wish life had little blips of pornography
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
