I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
