I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
