Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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