just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Welp...herpes.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
