I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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