I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
