I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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