I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
