I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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