I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
