Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
