end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
