Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you inspire me to be a worse person
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
