I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
