i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
how drunk are you?
Several
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
