If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
