Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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