His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He did a backflip because drugs
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