Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
