I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if only i could text you this smell
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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