i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
