Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
