How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
