she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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