i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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