what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
