If i come over, it means nothing
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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