I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
