what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
