We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need to calm my uterus...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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