I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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