He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
