Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
