My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
