Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
