I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My dad just said "fuck circus"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
