i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
