Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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