Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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