It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
