I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
