What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
