Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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