Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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