Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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