tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
