seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
why is half of my head shaved?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
