I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
