This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
