Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
