I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
