Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he fucked my hip out of place.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
