you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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