am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
