yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
